I'm watching the food network today. Most of you have no idea why that seems odd. But it's the first time since October. I'm not a mess anymore. I'm okay. I'm so worried about him. He is more broken and crushed than ever. Do you know what it is like to worry that your dad is going to be spending Christmas on the streets? To be honest, I wish I hadn't been such a stupid mess when you ended it. Because for some reason, when it came to him, it was always easiest to talk to you.

I know sometimes there is nothing I can do. I can't afford to give him anymore money. I've already given him a semesters tuition. I hate how I'm working my ass off and he is laying in bed all day. I know its really hard to find a job right now, but there has to be a job somewhere.

Ughhh.