Weakdays

Its Thursday at work. I've been thinking a lot about us and you leaving. My eyes fill up with tears when I realize that our weeks are running really short. We have two more weekends to ourselves. Most of that time, you'll be busy, doing senior stuff. I'm afraid that your going to want to end this before you leave. I'm so scared that your going to be easily able to leave me behind, just like everyone else has in the past. I know your feelings are sincere and i love the little things you do. I wish you didn't have to leave.

Four weeks.

From today, you leave. Your going to a whole new world, 2845 miles away. I thought that I wouldn't be strong enough to continue this, but your what I want. Your the only thing that has made me happy in months. I don't want to lose the way you look at me and the way you make my knees weak. I've been really short tempered recently because I know how time is running short. My freshman year could not have been better. You have made this the most amazing year of my life. With all of the struggles and hard times, being with you has made me able to smile more often....

Family.

   How come our holidays cant ever be happy? I get that your disappointed.  Everything i do seems to be a mistake. Sorry I can't please everyone. Your both tearing me apart.

In the summer I sleep with only a sheet and it has to be tucked in.

"Well we won't have an issue with that I guess...since I won't see you this summer."

I can't explain how hard it was to hold back the tears. What is going to happen to us?  Emotionally I can't afford to lose you.

Your leaving...

You going away comes up a lot recently. You graduate in a little over four weeks. I'm dreading it more than I have dreaded anything, ever. I hate to admit that you mean so much to me. I'm always the girl running away and avoiding my feelings. But I know what I feel when I'm with you. Every minute spent with you, I cherish. I don't know what is going to happen in the next few months but i'm ready. Because you have taken your time with me. And you have invested yourself and your time in us. That means more than you could ever know. At first you hesitated to let us progress, but you gave in. And you have finally made me feel like I am worth it.

I can't focus

   On anything recently. My head is all over the place. Nothing seems to fit together and everything falls apart on a daily basis.  There is no place that I call home....