I just woke up from a wonderful, much needed nap. I need some clarification as to what you think this is. Because you make me pinky promises that i know you won't keep. Your not my dad, brother, or my boyfriend. So as much as you care, it's not your job to step in and protect me. I know better than to waste my days with you so I'm trying to cut back. Well someone just called and I'm going to meet them for dinner...college is fun.

First College Experiences.

So it's my third day up at college, and i really miss my girls. But i have already had some amazing experiences. I have met a group of people who care about others and really want to help change the world. They are really inspiring, and i am so glad to be grouped with them. I've been to my first party, or street of parties. It was a blast, and like nothing i have ever done before. But i miss Jersey, my boys are so much better at pong than these kids. Its ridiculous. I've met some really cool people. And me and my roommate are really hitting it off. She is awesome. I'm loving this right now.

Tonight i went to The Title show.
It rocked my world. <333
They are so amazing and fun.
One day they are gonna blow up.


It is finally starting to hit me that college is four days away. Tonight i said goodbye to the boys. And i didn't ever want to leave. I have to start packing and do some last minute shopping. I keep telling myself that this isn't goodbye, and i know that. But am i ready for all of this? How can i know that i can handle college and everything that goes along with it?

Let me just feel sorry for you.

I'm in the shittiest mood ever. I feel like screaming and punching. Recently i keep getting myself into these situations where I'm just some girl. For some reason, no one feels the need to be honest with me anymore. I've been loving every second of my life for months now. It has been hard to try and ignore the fact that i put so much in and get nothing in return. I'm not someone with high expectations. I don't want the world. For now i just want someone to hold my hand and tell me everything about them. With no sugar coating, and no lies. Don't try to save me from disappointment.

Cut me out of your life...

I've never been any good at letting go. And recently I can't find it in my heart to want to let him go. Today i have a lot to do....Thank you cards, scholarship application, dentist, surgeon to see about my wisdom teeth, and then a classy dinner party? Yeah my friends are kind of cute or something. =]

College keeps getting closer.
I'd be content with just staying home.
But that really isn't an option.



I really just want to be someone you can't forget...

Three months old

College is just around the corner. It fills me with both excitement and fear. The unknown scares me but I love the simple idea of change. I can’t wait to leave this town that has stopped me from growing for years now. I feel like a Popsicle stuck to its stick but the summer will melt me away to freedom. I’ve grown up more in the past year than I ever thought I could. Finally I am starting to trust in myself and make the right decisions. My friends have become my binding, in a book that I am just starting to write. They don’t even know how much they hold me together. Weekends have pulled me through the week days, and those weekdays have torn me apart. This has easily been the most draining year I have ever had. But Fridays brought hope and filled my cup back up. Their houses have become my second, third, and fourth homes. These three girls have been constants in my life for four years. They are the icing to my cake, the sweetness in a world so sour. The X have become my family, a family who I owe everything to.

First blog...

So this whole blog thing is a little new to me, in some ways. I have an xanga but i'm not really that open about letting people read it. Tonight gabby, jill, and i ventured to Blairstown to pick up Matty and hang out with him. The drive was incredibly long, and made longer because we basically just drove around once we picked up Matt. Tonight while sitting in the backseat i looked forward to see two of my best friends, two girls that have been through it all with me. I'm always really strong about change and moving on but I felt my heart ache when I realized we have two weeks left together. It made me think about who i was really going to miss when I leave. And the list seems rather short. I've spent the last four years making strong bonds, and i've spent this last summer pulling them apart.