I like who I am. I am who I am. I am finally comfortable with the person I have become. And if you don't like who I have become, I couldn't care less. So I'll spend my days smiling and enjoying my life. And embracing who I am because I'm a great person.

Why am I smiling so big and can't stop? What am I doing?

The smallest things get me every time. I am sitting here completely sick to my stomach over the thought of you. My walls are never coming down again. Over and over again I let people in, just to be left behind and forgotten about. Thanks for adding on to my list. I confided in you and told you things that no one but my best friends know. Things that I have never told anyone at Siena, except for her. You're still playing your games. You need to stop, it's not okay. I can't understand why you would want to hurt me. I am already hurting plenty.

I was hoping deep down that you would fight for me. That you wouldn't let me just walk away.

Sticks and Stones

It is the stupidest thing in the world to be crushed over. I hate the fact that going through my news feed on facebook can ruin my day. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to lose my appetite to the thought of you. We're not talking really, and I know that it's better to have some distance.

I'm not miserable and i'm not a mess. That needs to be said. But I'm not happy and this isn't easy.

And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take

I don't even know what to write. My head is a blur. I figure eventually it will all just clear up on it's own right? I'm feeling better about my decisions concerning you. It has nothing to do with how I feel. Because we all know the feelings haven't gone away. I could have fallen in love with you. Did you know that?...I was falling in love with you. But I know better. You are a great guy, but you're not a great guy for me right now.

We're still talking, and I have to admit its not easy. But I don't want us to be strangers. I felt comfortable with you and I let you in. I don't remember the last time I did that. So i'm going to tough it out and figure out a way for this to hurt less.

I met this guy who is sweet and simple. He says all the right things a girl wants to hear, but that isn't what gets me. Yet he called today and my face lit up. And my sister looked at me and goes "I haven't seen you smile like that in weeks." So maybe he isn't my typical choice. And we're not moving anywhere fast. We're taking things as slow as possible, there is no rush. But he has me smiling again, even when i'm crushed over you.

I never thought the one who put me back together would also be the one to rip me apart all over again...