Potential.

We spoke last night about where I stand with everything going on. I told you I don't care if nothing happens, that I just like the idea of potential. It doesn't mean I am going to waste my days, sitting here, wanting him. It means maybe someday something will happen, but maybe nothing ever will. I will put myself out there and look for something that makes me excited, happy, and on the edge of my seat.

I Want You To…

When Will You Stop

I’m not jumping back into your arms ever again, so get lost. You have lost your chance.  I will never let you back in to play with my emotions again.  How is this all still a game to you? When you are you going to realize I am not coming back to you?  My feelings for you have vanished.  It does not ache to hear your name, or still to hear you say those three words.

LET ME GO.

I’m already so far out of your reach.  What are you trying to hang on to?  One day you won’t ruin everything for yourself.  Make yourself happy, I’m not there to be your sun anymore. You never let me shine anyways.  So I’m taking all my rays back and you can figure everything else out on your own.       

Don't Blow Your Composure Baby

We were all just laying around talking when she asked us if we had ever seen The Blindside. I smiled said yes and you said "Yes, we both have, it was our first date." Why didn't I see how amazing you were? Why didn't I allow myself to feel anything for you? I know I wasn't ready yet, and I probably lost my chance then. I'm always closing off my heart to the people who actually deserve it.

I'm not really happy, but in your arms I find rest and sleep easy. What the fuck am I doing?

I just don't want to be alone, and I want to kill you.

In The Middle Of the Night

I don't know how I feel about anything at all anymore. I don't miss crying over you and wanting you to need me. But I'm dying for someone to want me. To want me enough to make it work, to put some effort in. I'm the kind of girl that deserves that. I need to stop settling and trying to convince myself that I don't want to get close to anyone. Opening up again should be somewhere around the corner. There has to be someone who can sweep me off my feet like he did. Right? He can't be the only one who will ever make me feel like that.

A Deeper Ditch

I am always digging myself a deeper ditch. I don't know what it is about you that I can't seem to let go of. I wish you would just feel something for me, anything. I'm not in a standstill. Though I still have feelings for you, I'm going to keep an open mind. Maybe this year will bring me what I have been looking for. I don't think this year will bring us any closer. You are backing off and letting me go. Same story, different guy. You're the same as all the others now. When am I going to be the girl someone doesn't want to leave behind?

Go Here Instead

Look at this

I like who I am. I am who I am. I am finally comfortable with the person I have become. And if you don't like who I have become, I couldn't care less. So I'll spend my days smiling and enjoying my life. And embracing who I am because I'm a great person.