Just A Book

How do I go to the library and pick out a romance novel that makes me cry more than anything? How do i pick out the only book where the people are a plane ride apart, and where their love can't possibly make it. "You have your life there." I kept reading the part where they ended it over and over again. There was never once doubt about their feelings for one another. They both just had different lives. I'm sick of hearing about why I should move on. I'm sick of people constantly not believing in me. I don't care what the odds are, I'm not going to give up. So no I don't need to go back on the pill. You don't need to worry if boys are staying in my hotel room. You don't have to tell me about all the other boys out there. You don't have to tell me I deserve better. You don't have to tell me not to settle. I'm not settling, I wish some of you would just understand that.

Need You

Your out of reach. I'm trying my best to just be happy. I mean I am so lucky to have met you and fallen for you. But this is anything but easy. Recently it seems to pull me apart more then it holds me together. I know your worth all this. I can't imagine ever holding another's hands. When are the every other day phone calls going to make me feel better? With you so far away, I feel so alone. The nightmares that keep me up aren't going away. You hardly know about them, because you don't have the time. I'm too weak to tell you that I wake up crying and terrified that your going to leave just like everyone has done in the past. I'm still afraid to show you that I need you. Because I do, I need you every day, every minute.

I cry a little more everyday.

Day 37

Summer is here, you're so far away. All my thoughts consist of you and my dreams revolve around you. I miss every single thing about you. And each day it only seems to get harder. I knew from the begining that "we" would never be easy. I thought that I was wasting my time on a guy who would just leave. But your not going anywhere and you have made that very clear. I fall apart on a daily basis without you. The words you say help to pull me back together and get me through the night. You are the one person who can cheer me up by just saying "hi." A litttle over a month down...9 more to go?

Everyday

A Lot In Common

I said we had a lot in common and you said you were "damn glad." Then i said it works, and you agreed that you "wouldn't have it any other way." The past few days I have been missing you like crazy. You have gone out of your way to let me know how your doing and check up on me. Every word seems to be the right one. Thanks for listening to me complain, when things are probably much rougher for you right now. You told me I was strong today, and that means more than you will ever know. The past few days have told me that we can get through anything. I know we can. I'm not giving up on you babe. I never could.

Doesn't Matter How Small

I made you promise not to forget me, and you said "Oh please. Just cause your small doesn't mean I'll forget." It made me feel a lot better. I just needed you to know what has been on my mind. I need to start telling you how I feel. Opening up should come easy at this point. We have been in this mess too long, to act like I don't care. Everything I have is invested in you. Recently I've needed you more than you could ever understand. I need to tell you that. I need to tell you that I cry every day, missing you, and hoping that this is somehow all just a bad dream. Your so happy and excited about what your starting. Your dreams scare me to death but make me so proud at the same time. Your one of the strongest people I know. Your dedication knocks me off my feet. When you want something, you never stop going for it. You have passion that drives me wild. I should stop being so scared of losing you. If you didn't want me around, you would have told me that by now.