A Million Little Stars Spelling Out Your Name

I had this false hope that you could never actually leave me. That you cared more than that. It is better that I found the truth out now rather than later. I know this is just something you never asked for and never wanted. Eventually there is going to be someone who you could never imagine leaving. I won't be broken forever, but I'll carry you with me everywhere I go. Next time a boy kisses me goodnight, i'll assume the worst. And that, well thats mostly your fault. You were the first guy who didn't rush to try and get in my pants. You took your time with me, even in letting me down. I want to be friends with you, but I think I just need to cut you out of my life. I need to figure out how to let go. I spend all my time thinking of the amazing memories we made. It is finally all real for me. I spent the night in a hospital bed just wanting you. But I can't spend my time wanting what we use to have. Thats gone, it was beautiful and amazing but it is so far out of reach. I met this boy the other night who made me laugh. And that was the first time i've truly laughed and meant it since you left me all alone. For a minute I thought maybe I am going to be okay. Maybe eventually I'll pull myself back together. But i doubt it.