In the Middle of the Night

I was with all your boys last night. They were telling me how beautiful and amazing I am. Then they asked my most dreaded question "So how are you doing." And when I replied, "Pretty well actually." Then it came again "Come on Mel, how are you really doing?" The worst part is, they are genuinely concerned. They ask my friends about me, and how I look so okay, and hold myself together. It doesn't mean I stopped loving you, I can't really imagine that day ever coming. I keep hoping that eventually someone can make me as happy as you once did. Maybe there is someone who can light up my whole world like you use to. But when it comes down to it, I don't really want them. I really want you to just be happy, whether or not that has anything to do with me. I'm always the one running away and breaking my own heart. But we were different, even when I was scared, I couldn't run from you. But you ran, and honestly I think it's because part of you is really scared. Scared that we were too serious and that the distance would emotionally tear us apart. And if you are scared, you're not ready for this. You're not ready for someone to love you with all that they have. Maybe one day you'll realize you should have let it go, and saw what happened and how it all worked out. Or maybe you'll just keep telling yourself it was for the best. I'm not bitter, it is important that you know that. I'll be fine, I always am. You're not the first person to let me down, and I know you won't be the last.