How low can you go?

I'm on vacation. My days have been spent on the beach laughing with my best friend. Things have been so simple. But you have still been on my mind constantly. I miss you and your rough edges. Mostly though, I miss the way you acted when no one was around. I miss how you use to play with my nose in the morning when we woke up. And the way you kissed my hand when your shoulder was hurt, and you couldn't lean over to kiss my lips. We shared more moments than I thought we would have. You opened me up again. Thank you for reminding me what it is like to feel something.

Can you try something for me? Try to let someone in. Please try to let someone understand you, I never could. Everyday spent with you, I worked to figure out what your little comments meant. But everyday I fell short. You are going to knock some girl off her feet, and if you allow yourself, some girl will do the same to you.

I'm smart enough to know that I will never be that girl. I tried so hard to let you in. But you didn't care to know everything going on in my life. I can't say I'd blame you. If I were a guy, I'd probably keep my distance from a girl like me. I have so much going on, such a big past, how can I have a reliable future?