I'm back in Jersey. And it doesn't feel like home anymore. My room seems like a foreign place. I sat with my dad for two hours with nothing to say. He doesn't care to know how it's all going. I want to break down. Being home should be happy. It shouldn't hurt. I shouldn't come home to realize that my own Dad hasn't called for the last month just because. He isn't busy, he isn't working. He just doesn't care, i've never been so crushed.
Don't get me wrong, i love seeing my mom and sister. Plus i get to see lauren in a few hours. But I can't seem to get past the whole Dad thing. All I can do is think about going back to school. I want to spend the night in his arms. Why do i like him so much?
Fuck fuck fuck.
I drive myself crazy trying to stay out of my own way
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