Last Semester's Notebook

      Before i go to walk away, he grabs my hand and pulls me back in.  His fingers send a shock of electricity through the tips of mine.  I start dreading spending the night without him next to me.  It seems rediculous to want so much so fast.  I know i shouldn't get close, he'll be gone in less than a year.  I'm setting myself up for a disaster.  The smart thing would be to just back away, but i'm tired of running.  I want to see where this goes.  My fears shouldn't stop me from being happy.

       Maybe this isn't going anywhere.  I don't think you know what you want.  I'm trying really hard to be okay with that.  I know that when i kiss you, your smile grows bigger.  While i lay on your chest we laugh.  I can't help but to always want you around.  I've been smiling a lot.

       Last week was incredible.  Those arms of yours are becoming my safe place.  i was getting ready to go home and insisted on seeing me before i left.  That gave me a lot of hope for whatever we are.  When i said i was having a bad week you pulled me in close and said "everyone has them, comer over here you."  I don't think i'm ready to open up to you yet.  And i know your not ready for that.  I like that there is no pressure on me from you.  I think your sincere in all of your actions.  Part of me wants you to be like every other guy and disappoint me.  Just so i can get out, do what i always do and just run.  I keep telling myelf that it's time to change and that it's okay to change.  

        One day i won't need someone else to make me feel pretty.

        Thursday we'll hang out and go to the movies.  You told me i should skip my morning class on Friday.  We're "just friends" but you seem to be persistant recently.  My hopes are as high as mountains.  I should just give up and move on but i can't do that. When i see you my heart beats faster.  I know you don't want to let me go.  It killed you to see him laying in my bed.  But if you don't want me, someone else will and i think you finally realised that.  I hope you decide to stick around and take back your words.

       You were never mine and i never really had you.  I'm sorry i care so much.

       You wrap your arm around me and kiss my shoulder.  What do you want from me?

       I haven't seen you in a week. I miss everything about you.  Your hands need to find a way back to my waist.  And your lips need to meet mine again. You make me feel invincible.